And they call us hypocrites.....

I have no idea how I will bring this idea for a post around to CFS but let's see if it can't be done!

I actually spent time in a shopping mall by myself a couple of weeks back. I had a limited time but no children who needed my attention. So I spent a bit of time "just browsing" in shop windows as I ticked off my "to do" list.

Two windows stood out. I was so shocked by what I saw & read that I didn't take in the name of either shop so I can't name & shame them. Both dress shops. However, I remember their advertising a little too clearly.

The first targeted teens, early 20's and fashion victims in general. Filling one floor to ceiling window was the picture of a 14 - 15 year old girl. Wearing more accessories than dress, her make up & posture conveying naive but unmistakable intent, she was accompanied by the slogan 'Meet me behind the bike shed.'

The second targeted 20 - 30 somethings, so the clothing had generally more surface area. A large, half window, photograph showed smiling 20 somethings, 3 females & 3 males of the attractive variety, in politically correct hair & skin colours, laying intertwined on a bed. The slogan read "Love more than one".

Now, it may be just me but, isn't there something slightly hypocritical about a society that allows advertising like this in its malls and then turns around & sacks a soccer player for underage sex one week and an ex- footballer loses his television career the next week because he 'loved more than one' 7 years ago? The media claims they should have known better & they can't be our role models. But where, I ask, are they meant to get these high standards from? It is definitely not from the mall.

Personally, I suggest that the footballers & soccer players, the teenagers, 20somethings & 30somethings, the advertising companies, the dress shops & the mall owners would all profit from reading Proverbs 5 before they follow the advice of the dress shop windows. Then they may be saved from ever having to admit "I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."

I guess for all CFS sufferers & spouses Proverbs 5 is good reading. Working out your sex life to honour your marriage partner (present or future) and to honour the Lord is vital in any one's life so that the devil will not get a foothold.

For many, living with CFS, "Not tonight dear, I've got a headache" - can be a painful truism. I don't have all the answers for couples. But I recommend prayer Phil 4:6 and making your spouse a priority 1 Cor 7:2-4 while at the same time adjusting your expectations to suit your situation, less T.V, more bible, taking advantage of good days & good hours to work on your marriage in this way & working on improving your health & your godliness so you can serve your spouse in this way.

Diet Consistency - Try it. It works.

Over the 9 years one or both of us have been CFS suffers we've tried a number of different approaches to diet. Certain things have worked well. Others haven't. One thing is certain. Unless you, the sufferer, can call the shots & have a will of iron or be supported by a cook dedicated to improving your health, it is hard going.

Our culture and society in general does not support the kind of diet you really need to follow as a sufferer of CFS with all it's side affects. Although in 9 years things have improved.

When you make a complete change to the way you eat, most people think you are a 'wierdo' despite seeing you flourish. People will tell you you're crazy or a fundamentalist, offer absolutely no support and stop inviting you for dinner because it is too hard to cook for you. Or they will ask you about it non-stop because they can't get over how different it is. Or they will try to find every processed, pre-packaged, 'easy' version of the diet - This is particularly a problem with 'Low GI' diets. Some will even become an expert on it & drive you insane with their over informed advice that they would never see reason to follow themselves.

Few people will embrace a complete lifestyle change just to help you (or themselves). It is too hard. We've talked with husbands & wives whose spouse has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. In most cases when it is only one person who has the 'problem' it is only one person who has the 'special diet'.

This makes it so hard on the sufferer to be consistent and this is what is needed. They feel unsupported so they give up often. They also get tired (and there is not room for more tiredness) being the one responsible for their diet and lose motivation easily. Starting again is always hard going so they sometimes don't.

The people who we know who've had success are couples or families who have all made the change (when at home) to willingly support and accomodate the CFS sufferer. They have all read the information, gone together to appointments with Naturopaths and nutritionists. They have all eaten the same food and the wrong foods are no longer in the house. They all have a common purpose. To help the one with CFS get well because it would help everyone if they were well.

As a side effect they usually they all see improvements in their own health because the diets for CFS sufferers do promote health.