And they call us hypocrites.....

I have no idea how I will bring this idea for a post around to CFS but let's see if it can't be done!

I actually spent time in a shopping mall by myself a couple of weeks back. I had a limited time but no children who needed my attention. So I spent a bit of time "just browsing" in shop windows as I ticked off my "to do" list.

Two windows stood out. I was so shocked by what I saw & read that I didn't take in the name of either shop so I can't name & shame them. Both dress shops. However, I remember their advertising a little too clearly.

The first targeted teens, early 20's and fashion victims in general. Filling one floor to ceiling window was the picture of a 14 - 15 year old girl. Wearing more accessories than dress, her make up & posture conveying naive but unmistakable intent, she was accompanied by the slogan 'Meet me behind the bike shed.'

The second targeted 20 - 30 somethings, so the clothing had generally more surface area. A large, half window, photograph showed smiling 20 somethings, 3 females & 3 males of the attractive variety, in politically correct hair & skin colours, laying intertwined on a bed. The slogan read "Love more than one".

Now, it may be just me but, isn't there something slightly hypocritical about a society that allows advertising like this in its malls and then turns around & sacks a soccer player for underage sex one week and an ex- footballer loses his television career the next week because he 'loved more than one' 7 years ago? The media claims they should have known better & they can't be our role models. But where, I ask, are they meant to get these high standards from? It is definitely not from the mall.

Personally, I suggest that the footballers & soccer players, the teenagers, 20somethings & 30somethings, the advertising companies, the dress shops & the mall owners would all profit from reading Proverbs 5 before they follow the advice of the dress shop windows. Then they may be saved from ever having to admit "I have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly."

I guess for all CFS sufferers & spouses Proverbs 5 is good reading. Working out your sex life to honour your marriage partner (present or future) and to honour the Lord is vital in any one's life so that the devil will not get a foothold.

For many, living with CFS, "Not tonight dear, I've got a headache" - can be a painful truism. I don't have all the answers for couples. But I recommend prayer Phil 4:6 and making your spouse a priority 1 Cor 7:2-4 while at the same time adjusting your expectations to suit your situation, less T.V, more bible, taking advantage of good days & good hours to work on your marriage in this way & working on improving your health & your godliness so you can serve your spouse in this way.

How are you Coping?

If you were to notice me, reading the ingredients on a packet, in the health food aisle of the supermarket, you might stop for a concerned conversation with an opening line like, “How are you going these days?”

If you kept going past the standard response,
“Oh I’m fine, and Craig’s doing so much better, he’s working full time now,”
you might even think to ask something insightful like,
“You’ve been dealing with this for years now. How are you coping? Do you miss..(large pause, into which you can insert the words “being normal?”)...anything?

I’d probably answer with a genuine smile, “Oh God is great. He provides everything I need. He has really grown me through this time. In fact I’m grateful for it. I don’t miss anything of consequence.”

And all that would be true, overall.

But you’re not God.

And if you were the answer would be different.

The list he has heard is is as long as my arm:

I’m not coping, I miss being be able to cope.
I need to stop, I miss being able to keep going.
I’m not strong, I miss being strong, How will we survive if I am not strong?
I’m lonely, my husband’s asleep again, I miss him, I miss my social life.
I’m bored, I miss being creative and artistic and musical.
I’m exhausted, I miss having energy to do things.
I’m messy, I miss having the energy to be tidy.
I’m frustrated, I miss exercising, I never work up a sweat anymore.
I’m angry, I miss being calm and unaffected.
I’m sad, I miss having a husband who can join in.
I’m worried, I miss the confidence that comes with health.

The list goes on.......

But it always starts with “I”...... and what would you say to me if I were to hand it to you in the supermarket?

It’s a fine line to tread when you have a chronic illness, or you are the carer for a loved one with chronic illness, or when you’re suffering in general. (This morning I was suffering with chronic pregnancy and sleep depravation due to small children.)

Where does expressing your feelings and expecting others to understand your circumstances morph into plain old selfishness?

When I talk to God I’m like David in the psalms. I can rant and vent about my circumstances and my feelings. I can wail and sob. God listens and Jesus feels my pain and by the end, through his Holy Spirit, He always turns me around to himself. He opens my heart and my eyes to his kindness and goodness. One by one he picks up all the pieces and puts me back together with His glue. Stronger because of my weakness, powerful because of His Spirit in me.

But when I rant and vent to you, I cannot be so sure of the outcome. So I try to tell God first. Then I can tell you the outcome of those conversations. Which is the truth.

Healing Foods - Cooking for Celiacs, Colitis, Crohn's and IBS

This is a new discovery. Found this cookbook by Sandra Ramacher, an Aussie, in the bookshop a few months ago and have been cooking up a storm since. Great recipes, great photos. Click on the title for this blog to go straight to the website.

It follows the Specific Carbohydrate diet by Elaine Gottshall published in her book 'Breaking the Viscious Cycle' and explained on her website.

Go to Sandra's Website for heaps of great info & recipes and you can order the book there if you want it.

The recipes follow basically the same diet as our 'Food for Thought Regimen' by Phillip Day. The actual Specific Carbohydrate Diet sounds similar to the Anti Candida Dietary Regimen.

Often CFS sufferers also develop Intolerance to gluten, Colitis, Crohn's or IBS so it is very appropriate. Great book for family to have on the shelf for when you come to visit or if they're cooking you a meal.

Diet Consistency - Try it. It works.

Over the 9 years one or both of us have been CFS suffers we've tried a number of different approaches to diet. Certain things have worked well. Others haven't. One thing is certain. Unless you, the sufferer, can call the shots & have a will of iron or be supported by a cook dedicated to improving your health, it is hard going.

Our culture and society in general does not support the kind of diet you really need to follow as a sufferer of CFS with all it's side affects. Although in 9 years things have improved.

When you make a complete change to the way you eat, most people think you are a 'wierdo' despite seeing you flourish. People will tell you you're crazy or a fundamentalist, offer absolutely no support and stop inviting you for dinner because it is too hard to cook for you. Or they will ask you about it non-stop because they can't get over how different it is. Or they will try to find every processed, pre-packaged, 'easy' version of the diet - This is particularly a problem with 'Low GI' diets. Some will even become an expert on it & drive you insane with their over informed advice that they would never see reason to follow themselves.

Few people will embrace a complete lifestyle change just to help you (or themselves). It is too hard. We've talked with husbands & wives whose spouse has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. In most cases when it is only one person who has the 'problem' it is only one person who has the 'special diet'.

This makes it so hard on the sufferer to be consistent and this is what is needed. They feel unsupported so they give up often. They also get tired (and there is not room for more tiredness) being the one responsible for their diet and lose motivation easily. Starting again is always hard going so they sometimes don't.

The people who we know who've had success are couples or families who have all made the change (when at home) to willingly support and accomodate the CFS sufferer. They have all read the information, gone together to appointments with Naturopaths and nutritionists. They have all eaten the same food and the wrong foods are no longer in the house. They all have a common purpose. To help the one with CFS get well because it would help everyone if they were well.

As a side effect they usually they all see improvements in their own health because the diets for CFS sufferers do promote health.

Some Encouragement

Last night we watched a really encouraging DVD. Thought I'd share it with you.

The DVD was the testimony and life of Nick Vujicic who was born without arms and legs. He now has a worldwide ministry preaching the good news of Jesus.

It gave us increased confidence that God uses our circumstances (or thorns) for his glory. We know that he has used CFS in our lives to share Jesus and the victory that we have in Christ and it is our prayer that he will continue to do so. We were really spurred on to rejoice in our circumstances and to use them for his glory even when they made no sense.

If you are down or doubting God's goodness check out his website, www.lifewithoutlimbs.org or you can Google Nick Vujicic or Life Without Limbs there is heaps on the web about him.

God's grace is sufficient for you.

We also want to thank those of you who have prayed for us over the last two weeks while we have been unwell. Tonight Craig's nausea has passed and he is feeling more energetic. He has worked half days all week this week and survived. He thinks he can go back to work full time next week. I am a lot better too and have had the kids back since Monday.

We think Craig is out of the danger zone now for a return to CFS and we praise God for that but we also thank him for the reminder of his power in our weakness, and his amazing provision for us.

It all came back this week...

We started this blog with the pretty foolish boast that we were now "free" of chronic fatigue. So the next week what happens? Craig gets a mystery virus that has him crawling around the house again and I follow very quickly with a severe bout of Bronchitis. Can't believe it. We haven't been sick for more than a year.

The emotions have all come back this week.

The loneliness - watching, helpless, while the love of your life is sleeping 20 hours plus in the day.

The fear - the wondering, the not knowing - How long O God. Can it be worse?

The pointless wishing - that some human could understand without words; could just know what was happening - what it was like in your home; could ring without you having to explain; could take part of the burden for you.

The humbling - when all your plans go under and you see your self as completely fragile and your husband, your rock as vulnerable.

The empathy - for all those who are suffering with sick family that you tend to forget when you are doing fine.

The clinging to Jesus - just clinging because it is all you can do. Knowing that he does understand, trusting because it's all you can do, praying all the time.