How are you Coping?

If you were to notice me, reading the ingredients on a packet, in the health food aisle of the supermarket, you might stop for a concerned conversation with an opening line like, “How are you going these days?”

If you kept going past the standard response,
“Oh I’m fine, and Craig’s doing so much better, he’s working full time now,”
you might even think to ask something insightful like,
“You’ve been dealing with this for years now. How are you coping? Do you miss..(large pause, into which you can insert the words “being normal?”)...anything?

I’d probably answer with a genuine smile, “Oh God is great. He provides everything I need. He has really grown me through this time. In fact I’m grateful for it. I don’t miss anything of consequence.”

And all that would be true, overall.

But you’re not God.

And if you were the answer would be different.

The list he has heard is is as long as my arm:

I’m not coping, I miss being be able to cope.
I need to stop, I miss being able to keep going.
I’m not strong, I miss being strong, How will we survive if I am not strong?
I’m lonely, my husband’s asleep again, I miss him, I miss my social life.
I’m bored, I miss being creative and artistic and musical.
I’m exhausted, I miss having energy to do things.
I’m messy, I miss having the energy to be tidy.
I’m frustrated, I miss exercising, I never work up a sweat anymore.
I’m angry, I miss being calm and unaffected.
I’m sad, I miss having a husband who can join in.
I’m worried, I miss the confidence that comes with health.

The list goes on.......

But it always starts with “I”...... and what would you say to me if I were to hand it to you in the supermarket?

It’s a fine line to tread when you have a chronic illness, or you are the carer for a loved one with chronic illness, or when you’re suffering in general. (This morning I was suffering with chronic pregnancy and sleep depravation due to small children.)

Where does expressing your feelings and expecting others to understand your circumstances morph into plain old selfishness?

When I talk to God I’m like David in the psalms. I can rant and vent about my circumstances and my feelings. I can wail and sob. God listens and Jesus feels my pain and by the end, through his Holy Spirit, He always turns me around to himself. He opens my heart and my eyes to his kindness and goodness. One by one he picks up all the pieces and puts me back together with His glue. Stronger because of my weakness, powerful because of His Spirit in me.

But when I rant and vent to you, I cannot be so sure of the outcome. So I try to tell God first. Then I can tell you the outcome of those conversations. Which is the truth.

Some Encouragement

Last night we watched a really encouraging DVD. Thought I'd share it with you.

The DVD was the testimony and life of Nick Vujicic who was born without arms and legs. He now has a worldwide ministry preaching the good news of Jesus.

It gave us increased confidence that God uses our circumstances (or thorns) for his glory. We know that he has used CFS in our lives to share Jesus and the victory that we have in Christ and it is our prayer that he will continue to do so. We were really spurred on to rejoice in our circumstances and to use them for his glory even when they made no sense.

If you are down or doubting God's goodness check out his website, www.lifewithoutlimbs.org or you can Google Nick Vujicic or Life Without Limbs there is heaps on the web about him.

God's grace is sufficient for you.

We also want to thank those of you who have prayed for us over the last two weeks while we have been unwell. Tonight Craig's nausea has passed and he is feeling more energetic. He has worked half days all week this week and survived. He thinks he can go back to work full time next week. I am a lot better too and have had the kids back since Monday.

We think Craig is out of the danger zone now for a return to CFS and we praise God for that but we also thank him for the reminder of his power in our weakness, and his amazing provision for us.